That's intense
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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