She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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