Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
