So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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