Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
