moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
