We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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