therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
