Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
