im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish I only lived at night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
