Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
