mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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