dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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