discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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