She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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