I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
