I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
