Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
