Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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