Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
