Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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