I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
