so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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