Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
