Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Randomize
