FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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