I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize