C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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