I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
