So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
