he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
