That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
