I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
