All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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