Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
