My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ruined the universe
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
