hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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