I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize