Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
