He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
