He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
