He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
