i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
