We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
