is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
