she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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