This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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