haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize