Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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