i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
