He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
