your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize