5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
