Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
