I puked a lego.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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