I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
