I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
