Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
