Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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