i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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