So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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