Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
