All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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