He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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