Are we in a gay sports bar?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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