Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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