Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
