He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
