i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
