i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
