how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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